越来越多家长不愿“陪孩子读书” - 2014年06月04日

FOR Song Qiyun, a 37-year-old financial consultant at a multinational company, the nightly prospect of helping her 7-year-old son with his homework feels almost like a nightmare.

“When I arrive at home in the evening, I feel so exhausted that I hardly want to say a word. But I know I can’t,” she says. “The first moment when I step into home is to check his daily parent’s contact booklet from school. Usually there are several assignments for Chinese, mathematics and English that need my help to finish with my son.”

Song says she usually spends one or two hours sitting beside her son every evening, which “leaves nearly no time for me to relax after a long day of hard work.”

“You know, boys are always naughty,” she says. “I have to keep an eye on him to recite the Chinese texts, the English words and listen to the tapes for calculation.”

Complaints from the parents of primary school students have not eased in recent years, as they face a heavy workload of monitoring their children to recite, write, review and preview at home for hours. The time spent comes as a shock for parents with kids newly enrolled in elementary school.

Song’s words are echoed by Jia Yanmei, a stay-at-home mother who has a 7-year-old daughter.

“Every day I receive several short text messages from her Chinese, English and mathematics teachers, urging the parents to help with the child’s homework,” says the 35-year-old. “I have to sign at the daily contact booklet, proving that we have done everything every day. Sometimes I joke with my husband that my handwriting improved dramatically.”

Besides the academic homework, sometimes parents should be skilled at handiwork as well.

“I remember that the school asked each student to make a rabbit lantern for the traditional Lantern Festival,” Jia says. “I was totally shocked. I am not a person good at making such stuff, let alone how could a 7-year-old child? I had no solution but bought a lantern at the market. Can you imagine that I was seeking rabbit lanterns at 8pm?”

True enough, some homework involves “interactive activities between parents and children” from school, ranging from making an electronic news page to making an art piece out of wasted materials.

“Oh my god, such homework is almost a torture for me,” complains John Wu, a white-collar worker in his 40s. “Once, the school even asked for a family fire exit map. My daughter is thoroughly uninterested in doing this, and she is busy finishing her homework. So this is the job of a loving father.”

Wu says he feels like he’s already trained to be a professional craftsman, as such assignments started when his daughter was in kindergarten.

“We were asked to raise golden fish and a turtle as a way to show the care of small animals (when my daughter was in kindergarten),” Wu recalls.  “But it was me who took the job to feed the small animals.”

As more and more parents complain about the time spent helping their children study, primary schools reiterate its importance.

“It is important to nurture a good study habit for primary pupils at Grade-1 and 2,” says Liu Lanfang, a teacher of Chinese at a local primary school. “The daily parent’s contact booklet is a good way to tell the parents what their children are studying at school every day. We hope that the parents can focus on their children.

“In my eyes, the purpose of the contact booklet is not for autography but for communication. Sometimes the teacher will write their suggestion and parents can respond with their reply,” she adds.

Bruce Zhou, a 40-something lawyer who has a 7-year-old son, shares the same view.

“I am a responsible father, and I think it is right to help the child to form a good study habit at the beginning,” he says. “Of course, it is not easy to be someone’s parents, but that’s life. Frankly speaking, I am also not against such handiwork, because when I was a kid, my father also helped me to do it. I want my son to experience what I have experienced.”

Though many parents are not so comfortable following the assignments, most comply nevertheless. But a few do not.

“I never check my child’s homework, I only sign my name, and I’ve told the teacher about this,” says Wu Fang, manager of a local advertising company. “In my eyes, it’s the teachers who should be responsible for the accuracy of his homework or his understanding of the knowledge acquired in class, not me. Later on what he studies at school will be much more difficult, does that mean I should learn everything myself? That’s ridiculous.”

Decades ago, conditions were totally different.

“I remember when I was in primary school, my parents hardly cared about my study, let alone sat beside me to help,” says Zhan Yu, a 34-year-old human resources manager. “We even didn’t have homework in Grade-1. It is a pity for today’s children, they have to recite English words and write Chinese characters at an early age. For example, the teacher asked my daughter to finish 50 two-digit addition and subtraction problems within five minutes. Jesus, beat the clock starts so early, almost like a mission impossible for a 7-year-old child.”

Charlene Yang, a math teacher at a local primary school, admits that “beat the clock is a must for my class and it is for every student. If some can do it, why not others?”

Feng Yalan, a psychology consultant at East China Normal University, is among the experts concerned about such a narrow focus on testing.

“If it is all about higher test scores, then guess what? Our education institutions will develop approaches at producing good test takers,” she says.